I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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