A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
