Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
