Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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