It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
