His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
