The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
