So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
