Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
