your room smells of hookers.
And success
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
