Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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