So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
