Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
