Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
