Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
