So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
