U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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