I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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