I must be too annoying 4 u.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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