Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
