I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
