Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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