Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
