White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
