Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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