But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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