you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
