is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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