Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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