If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
