im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
