Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
