just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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