either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
