i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
