Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
