I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
