so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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