Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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