Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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