guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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