So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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