Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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