He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
