she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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