We're facebook friends in real life
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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