Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize