So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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