My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize