youre lurking in front of me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
