I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
