I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
