Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The uberlube is also flammable
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
