I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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