Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
