Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
