Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize