This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
