shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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